Raccoon’s Reign of Terror Ends with Sardines and Stuffed Olives 05.24.2013

For the past month or so, we’ve had a fat raccoon running around our backyard and up and down our 150-year-old silver maple.  And by “fat” I don’t mean that the raccoon needed to get in shape for bikini season, I mean that he’s got quite the life in our back yard.  And getting this guy was no easy feat.  He was enticed with all sorts of food, but it took a gourmet feast – sardines, stinky cheese, and feta stuffed olives – to finally capture him.

We first spotted him about a month ago, and it wasn’t until two weeks ago we called our pest people to trap him.  Because, you know, there’s nothing like a sick raccoon in close proximity to small children.  Raccoons are nocturnal creatures but we saw this fella strolling all over the place during the day – a sign most likely that he is rabid.

Two trap cages were strategically placed around the yard and in them, cans of cat food.  The raccoon (I’m assuming) would come in, eat the cat food, wipe his bandit mouth, and leave, grateful, I hope, of a square meal.  How he avoided the trap I have no idea.  I called our pest people after two weeks, a little frustrated (primarily because this adventure was costing us $250 and nothing had happened), and they brought in the big guns. 

The pest guy stopped off at Balducci’s (I am not making this up) and purchased two tins of sardines, two chunks of the stinkiest cheese, and two batches of feta stuffed olives.  Our pest guy, who looks as if he’s been riding around on a horse in the Old West, looks down at me from his pickup truck after setting out the fancy spread and said, “We’ll have him tomorrow,” with the tone of a hunter who has been looking for a depraved killer.

Our trapped raccoon

Well, it worked.  The next morning, the raccoon was curled up into a frightened ball in the trap, having feasted on all of his expensive goodies.  Raccoons love rich, fatty foods, and apparently are intoxicated by the smell of sardines. 

We were actually a little sad to see the raccoon go, but he’s headed for a better life in the woods.  Well, not sardines and stuffed olives good but happy and free and frolicking good. 

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