The Basics of Responding to a Party Invitation (I'm Looking At You) 11.08.2013

You've received an invitation to a party or tea or event or thing -- but you have not responded yes or no.  What are you waiting for?

This is pretty much my question to everyone about everything in life.  But lately, I've been irked by slackers who do not RSVP.  I have not conducted a scientific study, but can tell you with absolute certainty that the majority of people who get invited to events/parties/stuff do not bother to RSVP.  Do you know why?  Because if you do, PLEASE for the LOVE of everything that is happiness TELL ME!

I'm the laziest person I know and I respond to 92% of invitations I receive almost immediately*.  You know why?  Because the host of whatever event I'm going to better have enough champagne for me.  I will not accept half-filled flutes so the slackers who show up without RSVPing can have some too.  

Through my unscientific research, I've learned that I know a lot of people who also are irked by slackers who do not RSVP.  I've been asking people why they think people do not RSVP and there is a common thought:  people are waiting for better plans to come along before committing to your event. 

Listen:  you are lucky to be receiving any kind of invitation because there is some bad shit going on in this world.  Hunger, war, torture, disease, poverty -- all sorts of crap that is incredibly depressing and here you are, getting an invitation to a party.  But for some reason, you are unable to respond.  And this BS about waiting for a better offer?  Unacceptable.  If that's true, cut it out.  Now.  You are only allowed to wait for a better offer if you are a douche bag.  End of discussion.

And you know what else happens when you don't bother to RSVP right away?  The host feels like crap.  It's true.  Been there, own the t-shirt.  I'm laying down the law, right here, right now:  you get an invitation either RSVP right away or let the host know in an email or phone call that you're trying to figure out your schedule and will RSVP as soon as possible.  This person is laying out food and possibly really good booze for you -- don't let them down with your bad manners.

Also, "I'm busy and haven't had time to respond," is not an excuse.  Here is what I've discovered in my 43-year-old life:  everyone is busy.  Really.  I promise you.  Everyone has shit going on, everyone has stress, and everyone is busy.  It's all different stuff, but we feel it the same way. 

And if you're still having trouble responding to an invitation after reading this, well, today is your lucky day.  I've put together a pretty impressive, well thought out flow chart of what you should do when you receive any invitation.       

You are welcome.

Note to email readers:  go to this LINK to see the awesome chart. Why isn't the chart showing up in your email?  My entire IT department is on a meditation retreat. Seriously IT guys?  Meditation retreat?!  WTF?

* I have ADD and I sometimes will read an email or open mail and think, "Oh, this is lovely…oh look!  A unicorn!"  And then days go by.  While this cannot be classified as official Douche Baggery, it's pretty close and I know that.  To everyone who has ever received a tardy RSVP from me:  chicken curry at my house for you!